I read a lot of blogs pertaining to those who have adopted, are adopting or are advocating for children who need to be adopted. I read one recently that included this line:
“So what if she’s in a wheelchair?”
For some reason, that gripped my heart. I think partly because if we had seen Lily’s medical file and it had said that beyond a cleft lip/palate she also had all of the things we’re currently dealing with (bladder issues, kidney issues, congenital anomolies, multiple surgeries, life-long treatments), we would have turned her down.
As if we had a right to turn her down?
A mother who goes in for testing concerning her unborn child does not have a right to to turn her child down, I don’t care what the test reveals.
This is where I struggled with Lily and even with Jaidin.
How do you know?
How do you know what you can handle…what your family can handle…what God has destined your family to handle…
How do you know if this is truly God ordaining your steps or you following a whimsical ideal?
For me? You take a step and see what happens. And take another step and see what happens. And Don’t. Stop. Taking. Steps.
You listen to that still small voice.
You let go of your own petty concerns and say “Here I am Lord, send me…use me.”
Sometimes, my home is out of control! Kids fighting…toys everywhere…laundry piled up….appointments building…emotions draining…
And I say really Lord? This?
And He simply says, “Yep.” (Yep, I believe God says yep:)!
So, I simply say, “Ok.”
I don’t know how many times I have said “It’s going to be Ok…”
And then I saw this quote:
“Not to spoil the ending for you, but everything is going to be OK.”
Haha! Love it! And more than that, I believe it!
“We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned so as to have the life that is waiting for us.”